Comedians

Dustin Nickerson says this is when you are officially married. The popular comedian states that you will know your marriage has started when something like this finally happens. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear when, according to Dustin, two people are actually married. A wedding ceremony is a beautiful thing. Of course, its the lovely ritual in which two people stand at the altar, in front of their family and friends, and exchange vows. Both people promise to remain with the other regardless of what life may throw at them. The only thing that can or will separate them is death itself. The minister then pronounces them husband and wife and tells them to seal it with a kiss. The wedding day is one that couples will remember for the rest of their lives. However, all that pomp and circumstance that comes with the wedding day is not real life. No one wears a tux or a wedding dress or throws the bouquet over their shoulder Monday through Friday. Sure, those activities may be fun, but as anyone who is married knows, a marriage is what happens after the wedding day. In a clip posted on YouTube, Dustin said he and his wife were at a wedding, but they couldnt help laughing to themselves because they know what a real marriage is, and how those people exchanging vows have no idea what married life is yet. Thats no, thats not a marriage, he said. Thats not a marriage at all. Thats a wedding. Those are different things. A marriage is the next day when you get to the airport, and she goes, I forgot my passport. Now youre married. Thats, thats a marriage right there. Today, till death do us part. Tomorrow, Im going to Mexico alone. You had one job. I think anyone who is married will likely completely agree with Dustins statement and the point hes making. Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

Derrick Stroup hysterically explained how grocery shopping has changed. In the last decade or so, the popular comedian says grocery shopping has undergone a significant modification. Watch the short but hilarious clip to hear what has changed in the grocery store shopping experience. As Ive said many times before, shopping is one of the worst things in the world. There are no arguments to be made stating otherwise. Its an accepted fact, and nothing will change that in my mind, and Im guessing, in the minds of many other people, as well. Shopping is terrible, and no one looks forward to going to the store. But as bad as shopping is, it unfortunately gets worse. Shopping for groceries is the worst of the worst. Its the absolute pinnacle of horrible experiences when it comes to customers purchasing items. However, as awful as grocery shopping is, something about it, according to Derrick, has changed in the last 10 years. In a clip posted on YouTube, Derrick says he has been seeing a lot less of one thing while picking up groceries: children being spanked. I havent seen a kid get spanked in the grocery store in a decade, he said. No, thats where you used to watch some pretty good live whoopings go on. Youd just be pushing your cart through Brunos, cruising right along. Youd look down the aisle. Thered be a kid just getting wore out. Later in the clip, he mentions something that I remember seeing and hearing while growing up as well. I mean, back in the day, other parents would chime in, he added. Youd be getting spanked, and another parent would go, And thats why you listen to your mother. Youd be like, Who are you? Who are you? I dont even know you. Proverbs 22:6 If a child is trained up in the right way, even when he is old, he will not be turned away from it.

Comedian Derrick Stroup takes his ice cream and trail mix seriously. The popular funnyman believes there is a right way and a wrong way to enjoy both of those treats, and he has little to no patience for those who eat them incorrectly. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear just how seriously he takes his ice cream and trail mix. Everyone loves snacking. Its something that wed be better off doing less of, but, hey, you only live once, right? Whats wrong with indulging in a sweet treat now and then? Yes, we should be concerned about our health, but how healthy is it to deny ourselves a treat all the time? Well, when it comes to those treats, there is nothing more universally loved than ice cream. Of course, as you already know, there is no other treat that causes everyone to scream in unison. In addition to all of us screaming for ice cream, there is literally something for everyone. There are weird, truly out-there flavors for the more adventurous eater, and conventional, original flavors for those who like to stay in their comfort zone with ice cream. However, did you know there is apparently a wrong way to eat ice cream? Apparently, unlike a Reeses peanut butter cup, there is a right way and a wrong way, at least according to Derrick. In a clip posted on YouTube, Derrick says, ice cream is his favorite thing, and he and his wife have very different approaches to enjoying the cold treat. Its my favorite food, and I dont eat it fast, he said. I eat it the way you should. I whittle my ice cream. I put my spoon on the side, and I whittle it. His wife, he says, does not whittle her ice cream. Instead, she comes in a way that Derrick knows he will have to fix later. Also, he believes that how one eats trail mix is a metaphor for how to approach life. I told you, he takes these treats seriously. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

This comedian has a hysterical reason for believing he is a good husband. The funnyman, Shaun Johnson, is honest, stating that its not so much what he does that makes him a husband, but instead what he does not do. Watch the short but hilarious clip to hear why Shauns wife should consider herself lucky for having married him. Marriage is one of the best things someone can do, as everyone who is married fully understands. However, as every married person also knows very well, is that no marriage is perfect. Two people in a marriage will clash over this or that, leading to heated disagreements and fights. No two people are the same, so their thoughts, opinions and feelings will not be the same on every subject. However, while disagreements and confrontation are rarely, if ever, enjoyable, they can be beneficial for the relationship. If they are handled in a way that addresses and solves the problem, they can be good. Those solutions will involve a fair amount of compromise from both parties each gives a little, while also getting a little. Thats a win-win, right? Well, in a clip posted on YouTube, Shaun explains that not every situation in a marriage has to result in a fight, especially when youre as good a husband as he is. Hilariously, he states that hes fully aware that its because of what he doesn't do more than what he does for his wife. Ill have you know, Im actually a pretty good husband, if I do say so myself, he said. And its not always the things I do. Sometimes its the things I dont do. And Ill just give one example. Ill just throw one example out, OK? Just the fact that I dont golf puts me miles ahead of so many of you guys. Later, he adds what he says when his wife asks him to do something. Every time my wifes bugged me, Im like, Yeah, but I dont golf, he said. Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

A comedian imagined how lullabies sung by Arnold Schwarzenegger might sound. The funnyman, Hoss Ridgeway, will have you rolling with laughter with his bit about the Terminator performing popular childrens songs. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear how these beloved childrens songs would probably sound if they were ever sung by legendary action star, Arnold Schwarzenegger. There are many recognizable Hollywood actors and actresses. We know their face, understand weve seen them before, but arent sure where and dont remember their name. Thankfully, the IMDB app exists for situations just like this. A few quick taps on the phone and youre finally able to place the person on the TV screen, and can now rest easy. While there are a lot of actors and actresses, there are only a handful of movie stars. Of course, the difference between an actor and a movie star is that everyone is familiar with them and at least has passing familiarity with their body of work, even the most casual movie and television fan. One of those people who is, without question, a movie star is Arnold Schwarzenegger. But what if Arnold used his talents in a different area, in another form of entertainment? In a clip posted on YouTube, Hoss imagines what some popular childrens lullabies would sound like if Arnold were to sing them and how he might slightly augment them. The result is a bit that will have you laughing uncontrollably, as the comedian pulls off a scary-good Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But can you imagine if he sang to his children, what that wouldve been like? he asked. Hes like, Im going to sing to you. Old McDonald had a farm. Later in the clip, he tried a couple more lullabies as Arnold. London Bridge is falling downget to the chopper! he said, while impersonating the Terminator. The itsy-bitty spider went up the waterspout, he sang. Out came a sniper and took the spider out. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

A comedian shared the first thing his wife did after they got married. The funnyman, Jeff Allen, mentioned what his wifes first action was after they exchanged vows and said, I do, and it will have you laughing long after the video ends. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear what Jeffs better half did and how she takes her action back from time to time. Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it will most certainly change your life forever. The instant a couple says, I do, they are, as the Bible says, no longer two individuals but one. There will be good days, and there will be some not-so-great ones, too, as anyone who is or has ever been married understands. Of course, no marriage is perfect. There will be fights and arguments because thats the nature of relationships. No two people will agree in every instance and circumstance. They wont see eye to eye on every subject. But when these differences do arise, its important to reach an agreement, and as anyone who is married knows, that means finding a solution she likes best. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jeff said the very first thing his better half did after they got married was to take away his ability to disagree with her. She took away, as Jeff puts it, his spine. However, periodically, she will undo this action and reattach it whenever she needs him to confront potentially dangerous situations. First thing she did when we got married was take my spine away from me, he said. She did. She keeps it in her purse. Thats handy in case I have to do something manly. Later in the clip, he mentions the kind of situation in which she would temporarily return his spine. 3 oclock in the morning, I heard a noise. Heres your spine. God down and see what it was, he said. I hate that wake-up call. She hears a noise. I got to go down and see what it is. Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

Michael Jr.s take on Jesus little brother, James, is comedy gold. What the popular comedian says about Jesus Christ's younger brother will have you laughing long after the video ends. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear Michaels uproarious comments about what it must have been like being a sibling of Jesus. Children are blessings and gifts from the Lord above, each one of them, and they should be treated as such. As all parents know well, there is nothing like being a mother or a father. Its an experience that will forever change everything about you. Your thinking and entire way of looking at the world will be altered. However, while raising children, there is something parents must keep in mind. Every child is an individual, and not a replica or a duplicate of their siblings. We can all agree that, far too often, parents judge a child against their sibling. Why didnt you do this like so-and-so? Why arent you more like them? Thats a lot of pressure for any child, and its not fair and, if were being totally honest, downright wrong. But can you imagine the kind of pressure and judgment a sibling of Jesus would have faced from their parents and everyone else? In a clip posted on YouTube, Michael imagines what it must have been like to have been James, the young brother of Jesus. Jesus your big brother? Michael said. How many times do you have to hear, Why cant you be more like Jesus, James? Later in the clip, Michael wonders what might have happened when James attended a wedding, especially following Jesus first miracle mentioned in the Bible. Remember the wedding banquet? Michael asked the audience. Jesus turned water into wine, and everybody was amazed. But they dont tell you about the next banquet. Jesus left early, and they start running out of wine. Everybody looked at James. Its like, man, the last time this happened, your brother made some wine, dude. Youre just going to stand there with your sandals on? Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

A young comedian on Britains Got Talent will have you cracking up. The tiny funnyman has put together a routine that is both really hilarious and very cute. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear the young man do a stand-up routine full of jokes that is sure to have you laughing for quite some time. Stand-up comedy has to be one of the toughest things in the world to do. Of course, its a solitary act in which one person stands on stage and tells jokes, desperately hoping the audience laughs. If the jokes dont land or the audience stays completely silent, there is no one else to blame but the person holding the microphone. If that sounds like a frightening situation, you would be entirely correct. Most people would never even think about walking on stage and giving stand-up comedy a try. However, there are still people looking to make a name for themselves in the rough and tumble world of stand-up comedy, even, as it turns out, children. In a clip posted on YouTube, 8-year-old Monty Morris took the Britains Got Talent stage and announced to the shows four judges and the studio audience that he is a stand-up comedian. After a quick back and forth with the judges, it was time for the young man to get into his act. As most comedians do, the little guy told jokes about his life, which, for most 8-year-olds, is primarily his mother, the playground and school. Not surprisingly, those are the subjects the tiny comedian talked about during his audition. However, what was surprising was how truly funny and entertaining the young man was, and how many laughs he got from both the judges and the audience. The confident little guy told one joke after another, getting a well-deserved round of applause from the audience and the judges. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Detroit native, Dry Bar Comedy alum and Star Search $100,000 WINNER Horace H.B. Sanders visits First Sundays to record an album and a comedy special - and subsequently rocks the house becoming a First Sundays favorite.

Derrick Stroup believes that the crockpot is the ADHD persons best friend. The comedian says that the crockpot was created for those who have trouble paying attention and staying on task. Watch the short, but hysterical, clip to hear why Derrick Stroup is perfect for someone with ADHD. There is an endless array of distractions in our world. Unfortunately, we all carry the biggest one with us 24/7, 365 days a year. People are basically unable to go anywhere or do anything without their cell phones. If they, God forbid, were to become separated from their devices for any period of time, most would not know how to function. At this point, our cell phones have become extensions of our hands. They rest constantly in our palms as we check this app, then that app, and finally this other app. Of course, nothing has changed since we last checked it, which was five minutes ago. But those screens have become too difficult to stay away from, likely stealing away our focus and attention from more important, pressing needs. However, if you have trouble staying focused and on task, there is an appliance for you, according to Derrick. In a clip posted on YouTube, the popular comedian says the mighty crockpot is perfect for those with ADHD who also enjoy cooking. Now, you wouldnt think that ADHD and cooking would go hand-in-hand, but as Derrick states, you would be very wrong. He added that he got heavily into crockpots, even reaching the point where he was running four or five at a time. I couldnt believe that they invented something that I could forget about, and absolutely nail, he said. He added that with him having ADHD, everything has been built against him, but not crockpots. He added that they are made for us ADHD people. He said he has gotten compliments on his crockpot cooking, and when asked for his secret recipe, he admits it includes a lot of forgetfulness. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

A comedian shared the strange ways people respond when he tells them this. Its clear most are unsure how to react when he says this about himself, given their odd, awkward answers. Watch the short but hilarious clip to hear what he says about himself that evokes some weird feedback and comebacks. No two people are the same. Sure, there may be similarities between individuals, but everyone is unique. We are all individuals, not simply duplicates or carbon copies of one another. How boring would life be if that were the case? Honestly, who would want that situation? Arguably, the area where these differences are most easily spotted is in our preferences for food and drink. My taste buds are not the same as yours, and vice versa. For instance, I vehemently dislike cheese, all of it, and refuse to eat cheese, and that has always been the case since I was a child. But when people learn this about me, I can and have gotten some strange looks and questions. Its just cheese, but people, for some reason, have a problem processing and handling that. In a clip posted on YouTube, comedian Wali Collins shares that he has a similar experience when he tells others that he does not consume alcohol. He gets some odd reactions, too. I tell people I dont drink, people automatically think something bad happened in my life cause I dont drink alcohol, he said. He added that people will then often ask a very invasive and probing question, as they try to figure out why he does not drink. But then they want to get in my business, he said. So, youre an alcoholic? Thats the problem? He said that even after telling people he does not like the taste and doesnt see a reason or point in drinking, people will continue to play detective. Why is that so hard for some people to understand? Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.

John Crist has hilariously suggested adding this baseball rule to our daily lives. The popular funnyman believes this move would clear up a lot of confusion and unanswered questions in a variety of situations. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear what Major League Baseball rule the comedian wouldnt mind seeing everyone use. It's been said that there is nothing more American than apple pie and baseball. Also, youve probably heard before how baseball is the national pastime. Im not entirely sure either of those sayings is true. In fact, Id argue very adamantly that they are not accurate. Youre telling me someone who isnt a fan of baseball is less American than someone who enjoys the sport? Additionally, the NFL is the most popular spectator sport in America, far ahead of baseball. I can understand why that is the case. Baseball is so incredibly boring. If youre ever experiencing a bout of insomnia, turn on a baseball game, and youll be cured in a matter of moments. In an attempt to improve umpire accuracy, batters can now challenge calls. They can ask officials to review the video replay of questionable calls. In theory, this should remove any doubt about close calls and correct those that umpires get wrong. In a YouTube clip, John explained how and where this should be instituted in our lives. As he implies, this will stop people from needlessly lying and fibbing about things if there is something that calls them out on their untruths. Lets get that going in all of our everyday, personal lives, he said. You know what Im saying? Some dude is just like, I made $300,000 on crypto. Just, listen, sorry to do it, got to show us your account. We dont believe you. He later added where this rule could come in handy. And you can do it in your personal life, he said. With your pastor, your relationship, you know, your boss. You show up at Chick-fil-A, its 10:29. We dont have any breakfast left. Just, I need to see the kitchen. Everybody gets two per day, just like in baseball. John 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

You wont believe the surprising location this man picked to propose. The young man revealing the location of his marriage proposal even had the comedian, Michael Jr., cracking up. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear where this young man chose to propose to his now-wife. Marriage is a big step for every couple and should not be entered into lightly, without much prayer and careful consideration. Its a promise to remain with that person till death do you part, regardless of what situations or circumstances may come up. Standing at the altar, exchanging those vows and saying, I do, is a moment that will forever change your life. However, before walking down the aisle and exchanging vows, one small, yet extremely significant thing must happen. Of course, its the proposal, where the young man asks the young woman to be his wife. Typically, how one does this and where are extremely well thought out, with a lot of planning, time and effort going into that big moment. Some people may choose to pop the question in a park or at the location of the first date. Others, as the YouTube clip demonstrates, may even decide to ask the question at a favorite restaurant. In the video, Michael asked a young man in the audience whether he was married, how long and then asked how he popped the question. How did you propose to her? Michael asked. At her favorite restaurant, the young man revealed, as he started laughing. Which is what? Michael responded. China River Buffet, the audience member said. His unexpected answer prompted laughter from everyone in the room, including the comedian on stage. Sure, it may have been a hilariously unexpected spot, but if it was special to them, that is all that really matters. Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

This comedians company-specific jokes will have you rolling with laughter. The funnyman Don McMillan uses humor to highlight issues we have all experienced with these massive, recognizable companies. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear Dons side-splitting jokes and witticisms about Microsoft, ATT, Apple and others. Most Businesses strive, or at least should, to provide the best, most efficient customer service possible. Making and keeping their customers happy is the key to ensuring repeat business. Of course, this is a win-win for everyone. The customers get great service, and those companies stay in business and keep people employed. However, what happens when those once-small businesses merge with their competitors and become massive conglomerates? We all know what happens, having seen this story many times before. The product becomes subpar, but curiously, the price significantly increases. Also, the customer service suffers and quickly goes downhill. But what do they care? They have a large, almost monopoly-sized share of the market. In a clip posted on YouTube, Don shares a handful of knee-slappingly funny jokes about some companies we all know. His jokes, in addition to being hilarious, are also spot-on because they describe situations weve know and have experienced in our dealings with them and their products. In the opening moments of the clip posted on YouTube, Don states that he was contacted by Time Warner Cable to host some kind of show for them. His response to them was hysterical. They said, We have an awards ceremony. Can you be here at 8 oclock on Friday? Dan recalled. I said, Ill be there between 8 and 11. Then, I showed up at 10:58. Next, he recalled a time when he did a show for Microsoft that did not go over quite so well. He said that at some point during his act, he announced that an update was available, and he needed to reboot, then left the stage. Those are only a couple of the jokes he tells that will have you laughing long after the clip ends. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Comedian Zoltan Kaszas was offended by his wifes hysterical and unexpected question. She presented him with a strange hypothetical situation and asked what he would do. Watch the short but hilarious clip to hear what imaginary circumstances she proposed, her question and how he reacted to it. Most comedy works because, while its funny, there is also some truth to it. The funny situations and instances that stand-up comedians, television shows and movies highlight are relatable. Weve either experienced them first-hand or can easily put ourselves in those positions and consider how we might act and react if we were there. Shows The Office, Cheers and WKRP in Cincinnati were successful and remain classic shows we return to over and over because we relate to them, and those characters. Who doesnt have to work and who doesnt have a co-worker or a boss that occasionally gets on their nerves? Likewise, stand-up comedians often talk about marriage and their significant others because many people are married too and can relate to the situations they bring up, having been there and done that. That was precisely what Zoltan did in a hysterical clip posted on YouTube. He shared a question that his wife asked him that offended him and had the entire audience laughing. She goes, I just had a morbid thought, he recalled. And I go, Whats that? Shes like, What if I got struck by lightning? I go, That would suck. And shes like, Yeah, would you go get help or would you be too anxious and embarrassed to go ask someone? He responded that he was surprised and offended by her question and, by extension, the suggestion that he might not be able to seek help if she were hit by lightning. However, he did admit that she may have a point. He might pause for a moment, then seek medical assistance for her. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

A comedian showed that he and his wife shop differently, and she had the perfect response. The funnyman Don McMillan went to great, truly funny lengths to document how he and his wife handle the task of shopping in very contrasting ways. Watch the short but hysterical clip to see just how different he and his wife are when it comes to shopping, and to hear how his wife responded to his findings. Shopping is, without a doubt, one of the worst activities that human beings have to do. Yes, I understand that its necessary and must be done to ensure survival, especially grocery shopping (the worst kind). But shopping is one task that I absolutely dread doing, and Im sure Im not the only one. On the rare occasions when I must enter a store or a shopping mall, I like to complete the task as quickly as possible. Before even going in, I know exactly what Im after, where its sold and approximately how much cash I will have to shell out to obtain those items. That way, time spent shopping is kept to a minimum, and I can be on my way to something much better than shopping. Apparently, Don and I have similar shopping styles. In a clip posted on YouTube, he said he knows what he wants, gets in and out, and hes done. His wife, on the other hand, takes a much different approach, which he hilariously documents for the entire audience to see. Her shopping path is a bit more extensive, with several more detours, turns, spins and pit stops. However, the best, most hilarious part of the entire clip is how she responded to his findings. She claimed to be a more efficient shopper than he. That couldnt be correct, right? Well, numbers dont lie, and her statement turned out to be right. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.