6 Ways the Bible Challenges the World’s Idea of Love

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1. It Contradicts Sin (and Most Often Culture)

“So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded. Night is the time when people keep and drinkers get drunk. But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.” 1 Thessalonians 5:6-8

1 John 4:8 indeed says, “God is love.” But if we take a look at this Scripture, it’s not meant to be a cultural cover-up for sin. It’s not a sweeping generalization that blankets everyone as good when left to their own devices. Rather, love is purification; it’s identifying the sin in you that separates you from the goodness of God. And if you are separated from God, you are quite literally separated from love. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that people who don’t know Christ don’t try to love and honor their spouse, children, friends, etc., but that love is a watered-down understanding. This cultural idea of love is easily littered with selfishness and sin because it doesn’t undergo conviction. It can’t extend to the depths of one who has the Holy Spirit dwelling inside them.

Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross cannot be mimicked or matched by people, but it certainly gives believers an incredible standard to strive for that can’t be found in anyone or anything else in the world.   

So when the world tries to convince you that love looks like what the Bible considers selfishness and sin, it’s crucial to recognize that the world’s idea of love is not only a meager standard but is mired by man’s willingness to surrender to temptation.

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2. It Convicts

“As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 (ESV)

As we discussed, biblical love undergoes a process of conviction. If it didn’t, it would be as if God left us to attempt perfecting love on our own. Not only the Bible, but history itself proves that people have yet to master love. In fact, we are so inept at it that we start global wars when we can’t resolve disagreements. 

Our habitual actions for millennia have proven that we can slap “Be Kind” slogans on coffee mugs all we want, but we still wrestle daily with who we are at the core. And who we are is flawed, selfish, and prone to sin. 

However, this doesn’t diminish our worth in God’s eyes. After all, Christ came because He didn’t want us slaves to sin and brokenness. He knows who He created us to be and wants us to race towards that destiny even while on this earth. Our sinful state shouldn’t leave us in shame but keep us dependent on the One who compels us to rebuke sin and adhere to sacrifice and service. 

Remember, “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” John 3:19-21 (ESV)

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3. It Challenges Others

"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." Galatians 6:1 (NIV)

No one wants to hear when they are wrong. That’s completely normal. However, it’s only normal because all humans struggle with pride. Likewise, most people don’t enjoy calling loved ones out when they are sinning. The fear of confrontation or damaging a relationship holds them back. This is also normal but not healthy.

Of course, there is a wrong way to challenge others when bringing their sinful tendencies or poor choices to their attention. When an inconsiderate choice of words, heated temper, desire for gossip, or need to be self-righteousness guides the “accountaability,” the person doing the calling out is no better than the person being called out. But when we truly profess to love our fellow Christians, that love asks us to keep a sober watch over their hearts and souls.

This can be uncomfortable and delicate, and it requires you to remove your own log first (Matthew 7:3-5), but if you witness another Christian whom you’re close with actively participating in sin or preparing to make an unbiblical decision, you are to address your concerns for the sake of their soul. 

The world might say that love is tolerance and “respecting” someone else’s life decisions, but real, biblical love is more concerned with steering a loved one’s soul back to the straight and narrow than playing politics or turning a blind eye to their spiritual demise.

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4. It Controls Itself

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Proverbs 25:28

It’s much easier to pretend that love is nothing but the impulsive, thoughtless desperation we see in most modern-day romance movies. It’s running through the rain, sprinting through an airport, or elbowing everyone in downtown New York City to admit undying love for someone else. 

That’s not to say love hasn’t made people do intense things, especially if they realize they’ve made a mistake and wish to right the wrong before it's too late. However, there is also a self-control component to love that won’t respond in impulse. It won’t let emotions or sinful nature take the microphone. 

In short, God’s love gives us a gentle but firm “Nope, hold that thought,” or “No, don’t do that,” and in our love for Him, we are committed to taming the shrew within us for His glory. Even in the good, beautiful, joyous moments, there are times we are called to keep our feelings in check. 

If God is love, and love is trust, we have no choice but to trust in God when He gives us commands that go against everything we want to do in the moment. We must recognize and submit to the fact that He knows how we should respond in each situation. He sees the ripple effect of all of our decisions, and often, we can’t see anything more than the situation directly in front of us that we want to fix, fight, or feel gushy about. 

As 2 Timothy 1:7 (BSB) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” If we profess Christ, we have the Holy Spirit within us, the only tool we need to strive towards self-control.

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5. It Creates Christlikeness

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)

If we accept the world’s narrative that love is about following what feels right, it’s not love. It’s enslavement to emotions, ignorance, and limitations. Thus, love is ever-changing, something that can’t have a foundation we can learn from and build on. It leaves us blinded by our own humanity, unable to allow God to work through our sin so we can strive to love others as He does.

Love, truly radical love, is self-denial, and apart from Christ, even self-denial and sacrifice are left without a roadmap. We need Christ and His loving light to transform us into His image. We need His presence each day, since we as humans are too easily thrown by hardships, tragedies, and even small inconveniences.  

In other words, we will become what consumes us. And if we aren’t consumed with pursuing Christ and His image, we certainly won’t become love. It’s hard but holy work to adhere to Ephesians 4:24 (ESV): “And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

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6. It Costs Everything

“For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.” 1 Timothy 4:10 (ESV)

Theologically, it’s impossible to avoid the truth that in everything we are, even the best pieces of us, we are nothing apart from Christ. Thus, in order to truly make this life count, to give our souls eternal meaning and worth, we are to surrender everything we are for God’s good will and purpose. 

Everything we hold in this life must be held with a loose grip, with fists willing to unclench control and give all to the Creator. Everything we want, hope, and hold dear, if not Christ and the eternal destination of our loved ones, can’t withstand the test of eternity. 

As much as the world wants to pair love with happiness and personal fulfillment, love is actually a willingness to surrender happiness and personal fulfillment for the sake of God’s glory. It’s trusting that personal desires aren’t always important or best, and in that trust, we are to sacrifice everything we want for what God knows we need. 

The trade-off is hard. I’m certainly not perfect in this surrender, especially concerning my children. But if I believe God is love, and His love is perfectly curated to redeem and save and restore everything we are, I actually lose everything by gripping this world and my desires too tightly. 

With a standard for love like John 15:13 (KJV), “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” we have no choice but to face that love truly costs everything. And in surrendering everything, we gain God, who is our everything.

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